A CONVERSATION ON CHOICES

We’re people that make choices. Sometimes, the choice we make leads us down a positive path. Other times, we’re not so lucky. But at all times, we’ll always be faced with the consequence of our choice.

Choices Have Consequences

The question is when we’re about to make these choices, do we take time enough to consider the consequences or do we just go ahead?

I must be sincere with you though, that considering the consequences of a thing doesn’t always determine that doing it will take you along a positive road or lead to a positive end. And this is because we’re humans with frail abilities. We’re humans with foresight and hindsight, not humans with infinite sight.

Because of that, we make a choice at times after we’ve considered every possible outcome of it, and still live to regret it, or at best, discover later that it wasn’t the best choice to make.

Do We Always Need Guidance?

Sometimes, people believe that we need to be guided so that we can make the right choice. Of course, guidance is good. It helps us avoid the mistakes others have made so that we can get it right on the first try.

But guidance isn’t always good. It makes us avoid the mistake we should’ve made, through which we would’ve learned better. And because we didn’t make the mistakes we were supposed to make, we go ahead to make bigger and more consequential ones.

We also know that parents always have a hold on their children for as long as they live. It doesn’t matter how old the children become, parents will always have a say in their lives and influence some of the choices they make because they believe they’re more experienced considering their age. And of course, this is right at times. But not always.

Parents can be overcaring at times, excessively guiding their children away from errors and mistakes. Parents who lived through a tough childhood and became successful in life through that experience may see no reason in training their children on how to live through tough times. They want to make everything available for their children so their children don’t have to go through the kind of life they went through.

I’m not trying to say that children must go through the same challenging times their parents went through before they become successful. But we must learn to achieve balance here, or else, the children may never understand what it means to work with one’s hand, thinking that life is as simple.

Own Your Choice

Do you want to travel out of the country? Do you not want to travel out of the country? Do you want to marry? Do you not want to get married? Do you want to get married and have children? Do you want to get married and have no children? Do you want to marry that person? Do you not want to marry that person? Are you­—in one way or the other—being made to do any of these?

Of course, as a child, we’re made to do things that would turn to our advantage in the long run. For instance, no child wants to leave home and go to school every day except the home is toxic. But being educated eventually affords you a good life that others—without education—mayn’t be able to afford.

But as adults, do we keep staying in the same lane, letting people force decisions down our throats because they believe they know better?

Whichever side you tilt to, when you’re trying to prove to everyone that you’re an adult and have the right and wisdom to make your own decisions, remember that for every choice you make and every decision you take, there’s always a consequence.

Stephen Wholesome